As an enthusiastic reader, I devoured the book of Artemis Fowl. I loved the detail, the dramatic plot and the criminal storyline. I was so excited to hear there was a film version of it and had high hopes. I was very very very disappointed. Not only did they seem to disregard most of the detail and story from the book, they took everything about what makes the storyline so clever, and dumbed it down to the very simple basics. I forgot it was based on the book until they mentioned one of the characters names. It honestly felt like they had robbed the author of the title, the characters, and left the rest. I feel so sorry for the author of the book.

This movie succeeds in being bad for those who haven't read the books, like me, and especially for those who have, like my wife. We crawled to the finish line of this movie, which we couldn't wait to be over. I was so lost. And why is everyone talking like their throat itches? And what does Artemis Fowl ACTUALLY do?!

Watching Artemis Fowl is like listening to someone read a complicated instruction manual at a very quick pace, without pausing to allow for questions or reflection. I get that they had to cram a lot of story into one 90-minute movie, but it just doesn't make any sense. Artemis is unlikeable, Mulch Diggums is annoying, I felt embarrassed for Dame Judi Dench, and the rest of the cast is forgettable. If you're interested in this story, skip the movie and read the books.