It's an outrage how Paul Greengrass had the actual nerve to write down this miserable excuse for an original story. The most joy to be had while watching, is finding out how all your thirteen in a dozen predictions of what will happen next will actually come true.
The predictability ranges from knowing how dialogues will play out (almost to the word), how certain scenes will roll along, how characters will behave, to which scenes or dramatic moments are bound to come up, followed by the inevitably cheesy ending.
Add some overly sentimental contemplations of indigenous Americans, the south, slavery, in a 'that's just how things were back then, back to the story!'-kind of way, and you'll find yourself amazed that you haven't yet vomited all over the room.
A special mention must be made to the computer generated images. Rare in frequency, but each time so atrocious that your mind wanders off for minutes, unable to understand how anyone could ever admit them to a high budget movie released in two thousand freaking twenty one.
If you're against the use of the fast forward button, get ready for a two hour trip of cinematic disaster tourism. Shame on all involved.
Woman Who Wets Her Fingers (1984) 1080p
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